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0:00
If you're a Christian mom, then I
0:02
already know that you have felt it. That
0:05
pressure to be everything, to do
0:07
everything right, to be perfectly
0:09
gentle, perfectly organized, and
0:11
perfectly patient, perfectly productive,
0:14
and still somehow look like you have it
0:16
all together. And honestly, I used to
0:18
feel like if I wasn't doing certain
0:20
things, then I was failing. But over the
0:24
years, I've realized something, and that
0:26
is that there are things I used to do
0:28
that looked good, but they didn't
0:30
produce peace. They didn't produce joy,
0:32
and they didn't produce fruit, and they
0:35
definitely didn't produce a calm home.
0:37
So, in today's video, I'm going to be
0:39
sharing 15 things I don't do as a
0:41
Christian mother and homemaker, and why
0:44
I have stopped trying to carry
0:46
unnecessary guilt about it. But before I
0:48
start, I just want to say that this
0:50
video is not me saying that this is what
0:52
you or just every Christian mom or
0:55
homemaker should be doing. This is
0:56
definitely not the standard of
0:58
motherhood and homemaking. This is just
0:59
me sharing what has helped me personally
1:02
and my family as a wife and a mom and a
1:05
homemaker who just genuinely is trying
1:07
to honor God and protect the peace of my
1:10
home. And I also want to remind you that
1:13
we are building homes under grace. So,
1:16
if you have ever felt like you're
1:18
failing because you cannot keep up with
1:20
the modern perfect mom image, then stay
1:23
with me because this video might set you
1:25
free in the best way. It might also let
1:28
you know that it is okay. And if you're
1:32
feeling this way too, you're not alone.
1:34
So, the first thing is that I do not
1:35
compare my home to anybody else's home
1:38
or to social media. I don't compare my
1:40
kitchen, my routines, or my motherhood
1:43
to a highlight reel or to Pinterest
1:45
because comparison is a thief and it's
1:47
also a liar. Most of what you see
1:49
online, it's staged, it's edited, it's
1:52
filtered and carefully chosen. In the
1:54
moment that I start comparing, I stop
1:56
being grateful and I might lose
1:58
contentment. So, I just don't entertain
2:00
that mindset anymore of comparison. If
2:02
something inspires me, then that is
2:05
great. But if it makes me feel
2:07
inadequate, then I just keep scrolling.
2:09
Next is I don't say yes to everything.
2:12
As a Christian woman, I used to think
2:13
that being nice meant always saying yes.
2:16
But saying yes to everything is a quick
2:18
way to destroy your home life. It's a
2:20
quick way to lose your peace and a quick
2:22
way to become stressful and resentful.
2:26
So now I say no and even to sometime
2:29
things that are good because not
2:31
everything that is good is mine to
2:34
carry. Next is I do not feel the need to
2:36
prove myself. I don't feel the need to
2:38
prove that I'm productive, that I'm a
2:40
good mom, that I'm doing enough, that
2:42
I'm doing as much as the next person.
2:44
Because motherhood is already evidence
2:46
of sacrifice. The unseen work matters.
2:49
The laundry counts, the meals count, the
2:52
prayers count, and we do not need
2:54
validation for it. The fourth thing I no
2:57
longer do is feel guilty for resting. I
2:59
used to feel guilty every time I sat
3:02
down. like if I wasn't cleaning or
3:04
working then I was being lazy. But rest
3:08
is biblical and God created rest. And
3:11
sometimes as moms we forget that we are
3:13
still human beings and not machines. So
3:17
I rest now without guilt because I'm not
3:20
trying to impress anyone but God who
3:23
sees it all. And I am trying to be
3:25
present for my family. The fifth thing I
3:27
don't do is chase a perfectly aesthetic
3:30
home. I do love a nice and clean,
3:33
clutterfree home. I really do. But I try
3:37
not to get caught up in it being super
3:39
pretty and aesthetic because if I'm
3:41
constantly stressed about that, then
3:43
again, that can cause me to lose
3:44
contentment for the things that I do
3:46
have and make me to not be able to
3:48
steward them. Well, a peaceful home
3:51
matters so much more than a pretty home.
3:53
Home can be aesthetically pleasing for
3:55
you and your family and not necessarily
3:58
look like a Pinterest post. Next is I do
4:00
not apologize for wanting a slow life. I
4:03
do not apologize for not living a
4:05
chaotic lifestyle, for staying home, for
4:08
making my home my focus. And I will not
4:10
apologize for wanting my children to
4:12
remember warmth, stability, and peace in
4:15
this world that glorifies hustle because
4:17
God honors stewardship. And I have
4:19
learned that slow living is not lazy. It
4:22
is intentional living. And not
4:24
everything is for us. Number seven is
4:26
that I do not try to do everything
4:28
alone. I used to think that being a good
4:29
mom meant that I had it all together and
4:32
never needed any help. But that mindset
4:34
is just pride disguised as strength. And
4:36
God designed families to function as a
4:39
unit, not as one exhausted woman
4:41
carrying everything. Do I still do a
4:43
lot? Yes. But I no longer glorify
4:45
burnout. And I ask for help from my
4:48
husband when I need it. And I simplify
4:50
where I need it. And I remind myself
4:52
that simplifying and asking for help is
4:55
not weakness. It's intentionality,
4:57
wisdom, and vulnerability. I also do not
5:00
let my mornings start with my phone. I'm
5:02
not perfect at this, but I really do try
5:04
because the moment that I open up my
5:06
phone, I'm letting the world set the
5:08
tone for my day. And as a Christian mom,
5:11
I want God to set the tone for my day.
5:14
Not social media, not notification, not
5:17
other people's lives and opinions, not
5:19
other people's complaints and venting.
5:21
So I try to just wake up slowly and pray
5:24
first and just ease into my morning and
5:26
days without rushing and without the
5:29
noise of social media. I also do not
5:31
entertain chaos. And this one is big. I
5:34
do not entertain constant noise,
5:36
constant mess, constant clutter,
5:38
constant disorder because chaos affects
5:41
my spirit. And I truly believe that the
5:42
enemy loves confusion. So I try to keep
5:45
my home calm, not perfect, but calm. And
5:47
that means routines. It means
5:49
boundaries. even in the people that I
5:51
allow into our home, even in the things
5:53
that we allow into our home, the
5:55
television shows, the media, and it also
5:58
means resetting my house daily because
6:00
peace is definitely worth protecting.
6:03
Number 10 is that I do not buy things
6:05
just because they are trending. I don't
6:07
buy every new product. I do not buy
6:10
every new organizing bin. And I don't
6:12
buy everything that I see in a musth
6:14
have homemaking haul, even seasonal
6:17
hauls, because more stuff does not equal
6:19
a better life. It actually equals more
6:21
clutter, more cleaning, more stress. So,
6:24
I just choose simplicity, minimal
6:26
things, and try to be intentional
6:28
because I would rather have less and
6:30
manage it well. The 11th thing that I do
6:33
not do anymore as a Christian mother and
6:35
homemaker is believe that motherhood
6:37
should feel like constant survival. I
6:38
used to think that motherhood was
6:40
supposed to feel like exhaustion, like
6:42
that was just normal. But no, motherhood
6:44
is hard. Yes. And yes, it stretches you.
6:46
But you shouldn't feel like you're
6:48
constantly in survival mode or needing
6:50
to change something. And sometimes
6:53
change is not doing more, but doing
6:55
less, simplifying, and removing
6:57
unnecessary pressure. And that is
6:59
something that I had to learn the hard
7:02
way. Number 12 is I do not feel guilty
7:04
for having boundaries with my children.
7:07
I love my children deeply, but I do not
7:10
believe that they should run the entire
7:12
household. I don't believe everything
7:14
should revolve around them every second
7:16
of the day. I believe that children
7:19
thrive with boundaries. We do not do
7:21
like physical discipline, whoopings, and
7:23
things like that, but we definitely
7:24
strive with structure and we believe
7:27
that our kids will strive when they know
7:29
that mom is calm, not over stimulated.
7:32
And so yes, my kids have rules and yes,
7:34
we have rhythms and yes, my children
7:37
know that this home needs to have order
7:41
in order to not feel heavy. Next is I do
7:43
not allow negativity to live in my mind.
7:46
I don't allow myself to constantly
7:48
complain. Do I vent sometimes? Yes. But
7:50
I do not let negativity become my
7:53
personality because words do matter. And
7:55
I have children that's watching me. My
7:57
thoughts matter. And the Bible talks so
8:00
much about renewing our mind. So I try
8:03
to be intentional and not fake
8:06
positivity, but instead choose more
8:08
gratitude because gratitude can change
8:12
everything. I also do not neglect my
8:15
marriage for the sake of motherhood.
8:18
This one is a tough topic because it's
8:21
very easy to neglect our marriage when
8:22
it comes to our roles as a mom. This is
8:25
something that a lot of moms don't like
8:26
to talk about, but I don't put my
8:28
husband at the bottom of the list
8:30
because one day my children are going to
8:31
grow up and I still want my marriage to
8:34
be strong and I want my children to know
8:36
what a strong marriage looks like so
8:38
that they can also enjoy that as well in
8:41
their adulthood. I also want my husband
8:43
to feel respected still. I want our home
8:46
to have love at the center of it. So
8:49
when I pour into my children, I also
8:51
pour into my marriage too because both
8:54
of them matter and it also honors God.
8:58
Another thing that I no longer do and
9:00
don't feel guilty about is try to live
9:03
like the world while claiming to live
9:05
for Christ. And this is the biggest one.
9:08
I do not want to look like everyone
9:11
else. The Bible tells us that we are to
9:13
be set apart. So, I don't want to live
9:15
like everyone else and I don't want to
9:17
chase the same things that the world
9:19
chases because the truth is that the
9:22
world is loud and the world is restless.
9:25
The world is constantly chasing more.
9:28
And as Christian women, we are called to
9:30
be different, not perfect, but set
9:33
apart. And I remind myself often that a
9:37
quiet and simple and faithful life is
9:41
not a small life. It is a powerful
9:44
light. I feel the need to apologize for
9:46
what my lighting is doing right now. The
9:48
sun, the clouds are moving and so
9:50
position of the sun while I'm sitting in
9:52
front of this window is what's causing
9:55
my video to look and go back and forth
9:58
from like sunny to daylight to cloudy. I
10:02
don't know. I just wanted to put out
10:03
that disclaimer. Now, I want to talk
10:07
about a scripture that really grounds me
10:10
as a Christian mother and homemaker, and
10:12
that's Proverbs 31:27.
10:15
It says that she looks well to the ways
10:17
of her household and does not eat the
10:19
bread of idleness. And I used to read
10:21
that verse, and I used to feel pressure
10:23
like I had to do everything all the
10:25
time, non-stop. But now I read it
10:28
differently. I don't think that it means
10:29
hustle. Definitely not the hustle that
10:32
the world glorifies. I think it means
10:35
stewardship, like being intentional,
10:38
paying attention to what's happening in
10:40
your home and choosing to lead it
10:43
wisely. And sometimes nurturing your
10:46
home means saying, "This doesn't belong
10:49
here, and I don't belong there. This
10:52
mindset doesn't belong here. This chaos
10:54
doesn't belong here. This pressure
10:56
doesn't belong here. This guilt doesn't
10:59
belong here." Because a godly home isn't
11:02
built by a perfect woman. It is built by
11:04
a faithful one. So, if I could leave you
11:07
with some encouragement today, it is
11:09
that if you are watching this and you
11:11
feel tired, if you feel like you've been
11:13
carrying it too much, if you feel like
11:15
you're constantly trying to live up to
11:18
an impossible standard, I want you to
11:21
know that you don't have to prove
11:22
yourself and you don't have to keep up
11:24
with everything and everybody. You don't
11:26
have to be everything to everyone and
11:30
you just have to be faithful with what
11:32
God gave you today. Even if your home is
11:34
a little messy, even if your kids are a
11:36
little loud, even if you feel like
11:37
you're behind, even if you're in a
11:39
season where you are barely getting
11:42
through, God still sees you and your
11:44
work still matters. So, if this video
11:47
has encouraged you, inspired you, or
11:50
motivated you in some type of way, I
11:51
hope that you will like it and give it a
11:53
thumbs up. And if you're a Christian mom
11:56
who wants a more peaceful home, more
11:58
intentional routines, and more
12:00
faithfilled encouragement, make sure you
12:02
subscribe and stick around. And also, if
12:04
you want help simplifying your home and
12:07
creating a renup that actually works, I
12:09
have a free resource linked down below
12:11
that will help you to reset your home
12:12
and heart in a way that feels realistic
12:14
because we are not about doing
12:17
perfection over here. We are about doing
12:19
peace and stewardship with grace. So,
12:22
thank you so much for watching this
12:23
video and being here with me today. I
12:25
hope that it reminded you that you do
12:27
not have to carry unnecessary guilt to
12:30
be a good mother. You can be gentle and
12:32
still have boundaries. You can be
12:34
productive and still rest. And you can
12:37
be a godly woman and still live simply.
12:39
You can build a beautiful home without
12:41
being burnt out. But that's going to be
12:43
all for today's video. And I will see
12:45
you guys in the next one. Happy
12:47
homemaking.