Table of Contents
- Summary
- What Is Deschooling?
- Why Is Deschooling Important for New Homeschoolers?
- The Difference Between Deschooling and Homeschooling
- Signs Your Child Needs Deschooling
- How Long Should Deschooling Take?
- What Do You Do During Deschooling?
- What Deschooling Looks Like for Moms
- Deschooling Tips for a Smooth Transition
- How to Know When You’re Ready to Start Homeschooling
- Real-Life Examples of Deschooling in Action
- Encouragement for Moms Feeling Overwhelmed
- Final Thoughts on Deschooling
Summary
Deschooling is the process families go through when transitioning from public or private school to homeschooling. It’s a time of rest, decompression, and mindset shifting. This blog post walks you through everything you need to know about deschooling so you can start homeschooling with peace, clarity, and confidence.
Whether you’re just pulling your child out of school or planning to start next year, understanding de-schooling can set the tone for a thriving home education journey. Continue reading to learn more and get prepared!
What Is Deschooling?
Deschooling is the intentional period of adjustment a child (and parent) goes through after leaving the traditional school system before beginning formal homeschooling.
Deschooling offers you and your child a chance to:
- Break free from the routines, expectations, and habits of institutional education
- Rebuild curiosity, creativity, and intrinsic motivation
- Allow time for emotional healing and rest
- Rediscover the joy of learning
Deschooling is not the same as doing nothing, as some may thing. It is a purposeful pause that gives your family time to reset and refocus.
Why Is Deschooling Important for New Homeschoolers?
Many families skip deschooling and jump straight into homeschooling, only to find themselves frustrated, burned out, or unsure if they’re doing it right. Here’s why deschooling matters:
- It helps your child deprogram from the structure of school. Kids need to learn that education doesn’t only happen in a classroom or with worksheets.
- It gives you time to learn and prepare. As a mom, you need time to explore homeschool methods, research curriculum, and build confidence.
- It strengthens your relationship with your child. Deschooling is a chance to reconnect and enjoy your child without school-related stress or pressure.
The Difference Between Deschooling and Homeschooling
It’s easy to confuse the two, especially since deschooling is often the first step in your homeschool journey. But they’re not the same:
| Deschooling | Homeschooling |
|---|---|
| A break from formal lessons | Structured or intentional learning |
| Focused on healing, rest, and mindset | Focused on academic goals |
| No pressure to meet grade-level benchmarks | Follows a learning plan (flexible or structured) |
| Meant to reset | Meant to educate |
Think of deschooling as a detox for your family’s mindset about education.
Signs Your Child May Prefer Deschooling
Every child is different, but here are common signs that indicate your child could benefit from deschooling:
- They’re burnt out or resistant to learning
- They feel anxious, discouraged, or uninterested in schoolwork
- They struggle with motivation or confidence
- They believe they’re “bad at school”
- They ask, “Is this going to be on the test?” or “Why do I have to learn this?”
Even children who loved school may need time to adjust to homeschooling mentally and emotionally.
How Long Should Deschooling Take?
There’s no perfect formula, but a general guideline is:
One month of deschooling for every year your child was in school.
For example, if your child was in school for 5 years, 5 months of deschooling is a good starting point. That said, trust your instincts. Some kids may need more or less time.
Watch your child for clues:
- Are they becoming curious again?
- Are they initiating learning activities naturally?
- Are they less anxious or more relaxed?
When those things begin to happen, you’re likely nearing the end of your deschooling phase.
What Do You Do During Deschooling?
You might be wondering, “If we’re not doing school, what are we doing?” Deschooling doesn’t mean doing nothing. Here are meaningful ways to spend this time:
- Read together daily
- Go on nature walks
- Watch documentaries
- Visit museums or libraries
- Cook or bake as a learning activity
- Have open-ended conversations
- Play games that promote critical thinking
- Encourage unstructured play
- Allow boredom (it often sparks creativity)
This is a season to build trust, rest your nervous systems, and fall in love with learning again—together.
What Deschooling Looks Like for Moms
Deschooling isn’t just for your kids, it’s for you too.
You may need to unlearn ideas like:
- Learning must look like school to “count”
- You’re not qualified to teach your child
- There’s one “right” way to homeschool
- Curriculum must be finished to be successful
Instead, use this time to:
- Research different homeschooling methods
- Read encouraging books and blogs
- Join local or online homeschool communities
- Pray about your family’s vision for home education
- Observe how your child naturally learns
- Practice letting go of comparison
Deschooling allows you to step into your role as a homeschool mom with peace and purpose.
Deschooling Tips for a Smooth Transition
Here are practical tips to help make your deschooling experience peaceful and productive:
- Say yes to rest. It’s okay to take it slow. You’re not falling behind.
- Keep a journal. Documenting your thoughts can help you track your mindset shifts.
- Involve your child. Ask them what they’re interested in and what they didn’t like about school.
- Stay connected. Reach out to other homeschool moms for encouragement.
- Limit screen time. While it’s okay to use educational shows, don’t replace school with screens.
- Read aloud daily. It builds connection, vocabulary, and curiosity.
- Celebrate small wins. Every moment of joy, peace, or connection counts.
How to Know When You’re Ready to Start Homeschooling
You’ll know you’re ready when:
- Your child is asking to learn things again
- The stress or resistance from school has faded
- You feel more confident and less overwhelmed
- You’ve chosen a homeschool method or curriculum
- You’re excited to begin—not panicked or pressured
There’s no magic checklist. Trust your instincts and know it’s okay to ease into homeschooling slowly.
Real-Life Examples of Deschooling in Action
Sometimes hearing other stories can bring clarity. Here are a few examples:
Jessica’s Story:
Her 9-year-old was anxious, angry, and cried every morning before school. After pulling him out, they spent three months playing board games, going to the library, and talking about life. When she introduced gentle learning, he was eager and relaxed.
Emily’s Story:
Her daughter loved school but had started feeling pressured to perform. During deschooling, they spent mornings doing puzzles and watching nature documentaries. Now, they do unit studies based on her daughter’s interests, and she’s thriving.
These stories show that deschooling isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s a personal, prayerful reset.
Encouragement for Moms Feeling Overwhelmed
Mama, if this feels like a lot, take a deep breath.
You are not behind. You are not failing your child. You are doing something brave and beautiful.
Deschooling isn’t about doing more. It’s about allowing God to reset your heart, your mindset, and your family rhythm. This is a process, not a performance.
Lean into grace. You don’t need to be perfect. Just present.
Final Thoughts on Deschooling
Deschooling is one of the most overlooked but powerful parts of starting your homeschool journey. It’s not a waste of time, it’s an investment in your family’s future.
Use this time to rest, reconnect, observe, and learn alongside your child. By giving space to heal from the hustle of traditional school, you’re laying the foundation for a peaceful, purposeful, and joy-filled homeschool life.
You’ve got this, mama.